I was digging through old papers and found this story. It dates back to 5th grade, I think. You can see I was destined for greatness from a young age. Here it is, reproduced without edits. Enjoy.
*Safari Sam*
Safari Sam was a very strong man who lived in Chili.
One day Safari Sam happened to be swimming in his bowl of chili when along came a bean monster.
Sam took out his bacon gun from his pocket and shot a bacon piece up his nostril. Then the bean monster exploded. There were molecules everywhere.
Sam swam back to his fighting ring. His son, Mondo Mad Matthew was waiting there because Sam was going to teach him judo. After the lesson, Sam went swimming some more when along came a giant soup panther with a knife in one of it’s paws! Sam did the only thing he could. He jump kicked him right in the stomach.
The panther’s ghost came out of him and picked Sam up and threw him down to Robo’s Palace!. While Sam was down there he saw people caged in a deep pit of toxic waste and alligators licking their chops! Then Sam felt a tingle coming through his body. He looked down, his feet were turning into fire! He burned all up! At the end of that time, he heard a beeping noise!
He floated off to Robo’s throne room. Robo had a Katina blade in one of his hands. He threw it at Sam! Sam fell to the ground! The sword stuck through his heart! Guts surrounded him. He died! No one saw him again! Some people say if you look down at the ground you can see the Katina of blood with a heart stuck through it, and in the background you can see Robo laughing!
Phil Gross, Game Designer 